March292012

Thoughts….

I look at myself and think this isn’t who I am. I’m not the one to get mad at anyone or anything. But now its way different. Things have changed. I dnt feel like myself anymore. Wat I would wish for to get things back to wat they used to be. Everyone around me has someone but me. I just look and wonder wats wrong with me tht no one likes. Everyone says ohh yea your funny, your cool, even your a lil flirt. If so why am I alone. I believe tht I am the only one of my friends who hasn’t kissed anyone. When I think about it I get tears in my eyes. All of those sad songs tht shouldn’t make me cry do and then I start to think crazy, stupid, insecure thouts. But not everyday am I like this. I am outgoing, happy, and bubbly. Yeah, those are the good days. I wish my everydays were my good days. But no! I live in denial everyday. YOU ask me ” do you like girls ” and of course I’m going to say no. Why would I tell you I liked a girl but she broke my heart into a million pieces. Yes I still think some guys are cute I also believe tht some not all girls are cute, but hey thts me. Sometimes I wonder if you knw about HER. But then I dnt think you knw. I’m debating on whether or not to tell you about wat happened. Ugh I hate this. I hate being left out. I am someone who does have feelings, but no one cares about those right…..

March72012

Feelings

Wat happened to me and u? We used to be closer. We grew apart but now we r better. Yet I still can’t get over the fact tht ur the most beautiful person tht I ever saw. It’s like god said ” look at her isn’t she beautiful “.? Ever since then I can’t stop thinking about you. All of my dreams r about u and ur amazing eyes. I knw you wanna be just friends but I can’t you are way to beautiful to be single. If anything you are the most amazing person I’ve ever met. It’s like ur an angel from heaven. I can’t believe I actually had the chance to meet you. Now all I wanna knw is if ur not with someone, can I be tht someone. Let me hold u when ur scared. Let me listen when u need someone to tlk to. Let me be there for u when u need someone. Let me hold ur hand if u get scared. Let me be with you……. <———how I used to feel about you but now I’m over it….

November192011

This is IT..!!!!

At first we were cool, then our little secret comes out and you freak out. Now I see wat ur real colors are. You are selfish, conceded, arrogant, and stupid. Now I realize tht I dnt need you and tht my feelings blinded me from reality. Since the feelings are gone, I can see and this is IT. I’m over you and your little games. I am strong and you are pulling me down; I will no longer stand for it. But you will soon realize tht you need me more than ever once I am gone. But once you loose me you will never see me again. This is IT..!!!

November62011

Late night thoughts

Wat happened to me and u? We used to be closer. We grew apart but now we r better. Yet I still can’t get over the fact tht ur the most beautiful person tht I ever saw. It’s like god said ” look at her isn’t she beautiful “.? Ever since then I can’t stop thinking about you. All of my dreams r about u and ur amazing eyes. I knw you wanna be just friends but I can’t you are way to beautiful to be single. If anything you are the most amazing person I’ve ever met. It’s like ur an angel from heaven. I can’t believe I actually had the chance to meet you. Now all I wanna knw is if ur not with someone, can I be tht someone. Let me hold u when ur scared. Let me listen when u need someone to tlk to. Let me be there for u when u need someone. Let me hold ur hand if u get scared. Let me be with you…….

October302011

Stages

At first we didn’t even knw each other then we became friends. After I grew feelings for you they were strong nd I was afraid of losing u as a friend. I told you I liked you and u were on the fence. Then school started and everything changed. After a while we grew farther and farther apart. Then we jus stopped tlking. I sent you a txt on how I felt. Then things started to get better. The first time we spoke again you gave me a hug and I accidentally kissed u on the cheek. But it was the most amazing hug u ever gave me. Then two days later I was having a bad day and somehow I smiled when I saw u. Then u said ” I love you ” . Right then and there I wanted to stay with u but I left. Now, I jus can’t wait to see you. But then I wonder if u feel the same. You’ve got my mind going thru a maze but when I’m with u it makes perfect sense. The stages I go thru….

October232011

Questions

I wonder wat my life would be like if u never entered it. If I never met u. Before my life was changed forever. How would we see each other: as friends, teammates, or something else. How would I feel about u now. Would I still like you or hate u. Could I tolerate being around you. Would I stick up for u if people were tlking about u. If we saw each other would we speak, smile, or jus go our seperate ways. These questions are wat I ask myself everyday and wonder if I will ever find out the answers. But the truth is tht my feelings will never change for u but something else has and ill let u figure out wat tht is.

October82011

Strength

You knw how much I care for u. You knw the feelings I have will never go away. Yet you treat me like shit. And now I really dnt care anymore. You and me could never be. I knw tht once you realize wat you missed and wish u would have had your gonna feel like shit. Well karmas. A real big bitch and she’s coming for you. So dnt try anything becuz I am strong. You will not pull me apart…..I AM STRONG!!!!!!

September272011

Just a Friend

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These words are offten used to end a relationship. Meaning that we can be together but we are better off as friends. Being jus a friend sometimes can work. Other times its really hard to see that “your” person is with someone else. To see “your” person and imagine what used to be. Seeing “your” person everywhere making it hard not getting over JUST BEING FRIENDS. These words could be the end of the world for most people. For others its the begininng of a new life. JUST A FRIEND is a simple way of saying,” I love you but I dont like you anymore.” Sometimes friends can turn into lovers. Some friends can be “just friends”. JUST A FRIEND= a ton a meanings but its how you take it also has its own meaning. JUST FRIENDS are powerful words….I LOVE YOU are more…..

September252011

Signs

This chain I wear around my neck is like a rope, getting tighter and tighter. Connected to this chain is a ring tht acts like a repelant to all guys and possibly you. This deuo makes life as a teenager alot harder than it already is. These two partners in crime can make you or break you. They can symbolize a saint from a whore. The represent pure and un-pure. Some say that they symbolize a marraige between yourself and God. But in reality this is used to control the young girls whose parents know that they are “fast.” But to me this ring is a symbol of pride in yourself…

September242011

Beautiful Eyes

When i see you its like a dream. When i talk to you I think im the luckiest person in the world. Whenever i tell you that your the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, but you still dnt listen. I guess we r just meant to be friends but I just cant see us tht way. I listen to songs and i see you and your beautiful smile. I jus dnt knw wat to do or think anymore. Some nights i cant sleep becuz all I do is think about you……you and me could be something but your blind and i could be your eyes if you let me..your beautiful eyes sometimes make me cry becuz they are jus so stunning. Your beautiful eyes are like stars in the sky, I cant help but stare….YOUR BEAUTIFUL EYES

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